I believe I do have a timeline of events that you might find informative.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Deborah and Jerry coordinate to virtually pull a Christmas cracker on a family video call. They are helped in their attempt by Toby and Alex, and lightly teased by Russ.
While playing a round of charades, Deborah calls the rest of the family “spaniels” for deliberately avoiding the correct guess, even though she had already revealed the answer accidentally.
The family each rip up the hat that they get from their cracker, although Alex has to first be reminded to do so.
Instead of Christmas pudding, Deborah has half a scotch egg.
At one point during the call, Alex tells Toby to let their dog, Oswald, out.
On his way out for the evening, Russ is quibbling with his mum, Deborah, about the time he needs to be home. Russ tries to argue for midnight, then 11pm, but Deborah insists on 10pm, after invoking the threat of 9pm.
Then, on his way out the door, Russ comes out to Deborah with a forced casualness, saying: “Not a big deal or anything, but, as it goes, I’m gay.”
Deborah stops him from leaving so that she can express her support for him. She also insists that she is totally surprised by the news.
Russ sees through her fake surprise, since his mum specialises in reading people. Deborah admits that she already knew and Russ tells her that he already knew she already knew.
Russ then attempts to change his curfew to 11pm again, but is told that being gay does not get him an extra hour.
At Vanessa’s funeral, Deborah leaves Russ in the care of Uncle Newt while she finds her father to prevent him from doing a poem. Deborah leaves Russ with instructions to be “Level 5 good”.
Russ learns Newt’s name, which leads to a discussion of amphibians and, in particular, why turtles are not amphibians. Newt gives him a brief scientific explanation of the difference between reptiles and amphibians, but Russ does not want to hear more.
Instead, Russ asks Newt for a story about Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Having been informed that the turtles names are Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo, Newt tells Russ a story about turtles in Renaissance Florence.
Russ and Deborah have a Zoom call during the COVID-19 pandemic.
They both admit that they are secretly enjoying the lockdown. Deborah enjoys the community spirit and her increased communication with people via Zoom. Conversely, Russ is glad to have the excuse not to socialise with others, but instead spend more time with his family.
Despite this, they make each other promise to keep up the pretence that they are both having a terrible time.
Deborah arrives late to give a fencing lesson. She easily fends off her student while giving him instructions, despite the fact that she hasn’t yet had time to change out of her heels.
During the lesson, she deduces that her student’s partner is away at the moment. This comes from her observation that he has his phone in his shirt pocket, which is what he does when his mother is babysitting.
Deborah is visiting her father, Jerry. Jerry’s ability to express himself is affected by aphasia. Deborah is supportive in helping him to communicate, but can’t quite suppress a giggle when he says “backwards and forwards” instead of his usual “onwards and upwards”.
The two are attempting to play Scrabble. However, after Jerry plays HVRAST (which he pronounces “hockets”), Deborah is able to convince him that he is not yet recovered enough for the game.
After Jerry is able to sing the first line of We Plough the Fields and Scatter, Deborah realises that the word he was trying to play was HARVEST.
While working as a travel agent, Deborah uses her talent for understanding people to suggest that a couple book a holiday in Jersey. The destination perfectly matches their opposing needs, such as liking France but not French food.
She tells them that one option for travelling there would be to go by ferry. She describes it as a “proper ferry … not a silly one like the Isle of Wight”.
Deborah sings Woof, Woof, Woof in the form of a lullaby to an infant Russ.
Deborah is filling out a passport application for her husband, Cliff, in preparation for a holiday.
Cliff has never been abroad. Even though he works on a ferry and goes to France four times a day, he has never disembarked from the boat.
The two bicker about Cliff’s unhelpful answers and about what counts as a ‘distinguishing mark’.
Deborah tells her parents, Jerry and Hilla, that she got engaged during a trip away. Her father is delighted at the news, but her mother is more sceptical.
Deborah explains that she met her fiancé on a ferry crossing to France. He was working onboard and looked after her during a storm.
Jerry is amused to discover that the man comes from Dover and is named Cliff.
Deborah and her grandmother, Vanessa, are people watching. They speculate on the lives of passers-by, whom they variously nickname Big Coat, Sideburns, Earrings and Orange Shirt.
Although impressed with her grandmother’s skill, Deborah laments that the conclusions are never something more exciting, like the subjects being Russian spies.
The Wilkinson family – Jerry, Hilla, Myra, Deborah and Benji – are meeting Jerry’s parents for dinner.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, Jerry realises that it is a posher venue than they were expecting. He reluctantly enforces “Gale Force 5 table manners” on the children.
As compensation, Jerry promises that they will keep the meal to a short two courses and declares open season on the pudding menu. Since Deborah doesn’t like pudding, she is offered the option to have a starter for pudding instead.
Jerry counts them all down to the start of the enforcement of manners. During the five second countdown, the family make wild and rude noises. They stop immediately when he reaches zero and all commence best behaviour.
Uncle Newt is babysitting Myra and Deborah. As he is putting them to bed, they plead with him to tell them a bedtime story.
Deborah wants a story about ghosts, while Myra wants a story about gardens. Uncle Newt compromises by telling them a story about a haunted garden.
Myra, Deborah, Benji and Russ are helping Jerry to sort out his things and clear space.
Jerry becomes unexpectedly upset when he realises that they have deflated his lilo. In his shock, he shouts: “What have you done? Oh, you cockers!”
He quickly regains his composure and apologises to them all. He explains that he was keeping the lilo blown up because his wife, Hilla, had been the one who inflated it before she died.
He consoles himself and the others with hugs and his refrain of “half a glass”.
He apologises again for swearing at them. However, they are able to reassure him that his lingering aphasia has actually saved him from doing so. They comfort him by joking that “cockers” was at worst akin to “spaniels”, and agreeing that they had indeed behaved like “complete spaniels”.
On the evening of Jerry’s 50th birthday, he and his wife, Hilla, reflect on the events of the day.
Although he enjoyed the day, Jerry feels a tinge of melancholy. His feelings were unintentionally hurt by a ‘What would Dad say?’ round in a quiz that Deborah had composed. He worries that the high scores in the round indicate that he has become a “predictable old fart”.
Hilla comforts him by saying that, although they may know what he might say, they could never predict what he will do next. She cites, as an example, him training crows to fetch batteries.
Feeling better, Jerry bids her goodnight. As he does so, she intones “don’t let the bed bugs bite” along with him, but he protests that that doesn’t count.
Because of a need to finish some eggs they had, Jerry suggests that they have pancakes. Hilla is reading a book and absent-mindedly agrees.
Before she realises what she has done, Jerry retrieves and blows a kazoo to initiate a family ritual. Hilla tries to change her meal choice to omelette, but the children are already rushing into the room and it is too late.
Jerry and the children play out a rehearsed chant in which he acts as The Keeper of the Cakes of Pan. Myra is The Flour Sifter, Benji is The Egg Man and Deborah is The Tosh Chronicler.
Hilla, still reading her book, doesn’t join in the chanting in her role as The Flipster. Benji begins to protest, but Jerry (still in character) defends The Flipster’s right to silence.
Although she doesn’t join the chanting this time, Hilla does not want her lines removed from the ritual. She likes it sometimes.
Hilla is surprised that baby Debbie wants to be fed more. Jerry suggests that it’s because she is ready for her pudding. However, Hilla is heard to ask “Well, don’t you want it?”, suggesting that Debbie ultimately doesn’t want her pudding.
The baby is making raspberry noises as Hilla deals with her. Hilla requesting that Debbie saves her “the raspberries of impatience”. This leads to Jerry composing an impromptu, fruit-themed, nonsense song on the piano.
Hilla helps him to find fruit names that correctly scan within the tune.
The Wilkinson family pull Christmas crackers around the table, starting with Vanessa and Uncle Newt. Vanessa wins and immediately takes the hat from inside and rips it up.
She also gets a small plastic cowboy from the cracker, which she gives to her grandson, Benji. Benji is warned not to snatch by his mother, Hilla, who reminds him that “Level 3” behaviour is expected.
Jerry says “onwards and upwards” and nominates Deborah to pull the next cracker.
Deborah chooses to pull her cracker with her grandfather, Walter. Vanessa indicates to Walter that his cracker is on his side plate. Deborah wins, but questions if she has to rip up her hat. She asks if that tradition comes from them being a bit Jewish.
Hilla tells her that lighting the candles is because they are a bit Jewish, but that the hat ripping comes from the Wilkinson side. It transpires that the tradition dates back at least as far as Uncle Newt’s childhood.
Uncle Newt prepares to tell the story of why the family rip the hats, but he is interrupted by a kitchen timer. Hilla bustles out of the room to fetch the pudding, enlisting help from Myra.
By waiting silently in a room with him, Deborah works out that her grandfather, Walter, is blind.
He admits that he has been blind since the war, but never brings it up. Deborah questions how he manages, to which Walter says that his wife, Vanessa, is a great help to him.
As if to demonstrate, Vanessa enters the room at that moment. She says:
“Ah, Walter. There you are. Oh, and Deborah too. You look very cosy over there, dear, in that window seat.”
Vanessa uses indirect comments like this to help Walter place people and objects in the room.
On Jerry’s 60th birthday, Deborah introduces him to give a speech.
Jerry’s ability to express himself is affected by aphasia, but he and the family choose to embrace it. Deborah reminds the audience of how well everyone did on the ‘What would Jerry say next?’ round from his 50th birthday. She jokes that Jerry has now truly turned the tables on that.
Jerry opens by saying “Gently, ladybird, here we come”. Although the speech that follows is very confused and difficult to interpret, it is warmly received by the family.
When he is finished, Jerry raises a toast “To glassware!”, which may be his attempt to say “Half a glass!”.
On the way to the reception of Myra’s wedding, Uncle Newt, Vanessa, Jerry, Deborah and Russ share a car. They represent five generations of the family.
Deborah is surprised to hear Jerry ask if he should start his speech with a poem, since she had just assumed that he would.
Vanessa and Deborah swap theories about the marital status of the registrar at the service, based on their observations of biro marks and reading glasses.
As they travel, Russ starts to feel unwell. Uncle Newt offers his top hat, should it be needed.
In an attempt to distract Russ, they all start to play a storytelling game by each saying one word at a time, but this fizzles out as Russ feels worse.
Next, they try to think of a song which they all know so that they could sing it to Russ. Uncle Newt is too elderly to know Yellow Submarine and Deborah is too young for Knees Up Mother Brown, but there is one song which spans the generations of the family.
Jerry counts them in and they all sing Woof, Woof, Woof together.
Unfortunately, they cannot prevent the inevitable, and Deborah is forced to apologise to Uncle Newt.
Newt replies: “Oh, not at all my dear. It was a very old hat.”