Well, since you ask me for a tale of funerals

I believe I do have a timeline of events that you might find educational.

Currently in Broadcast order
  1. 2018 – Hastings

    In preparation for Pier Pressure playing at a funeral, Russ phones the bereaved to discussed the setlist.

    Russ informs him that they cannot perform Ding-Dong! The Witch is Dead and that they have to stick to the original lyrics for Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, but can otherwise accommodate his (largely witch-themed) requests.

  2. 1990 – Long Buckby

    At Vanessa’s funeral, Deborah leaves Russ in the care of Uncle Newt while she finds her father to prevent him from doing a poem. Deborah leaves Russ with instructions to be “Level 5 good”.

    Russ learns Newt’s name, which leads to a discussion of amphibians and, in particular, why turtles are not amphibians. Newt gives him a brief scientific explanation of the difference between reptiles and amphibians, but Russ does not want to hear more.

    Instead, Russ asks Newt for a story about Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Having been informed that the turtles names are Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo, Newt tells Russ a story about turtles in Renaissance Florence.

  3. 1991 – Hook Norton

    At Uncle Newt’s funeral, Jerry gives a eulogy in the form of a poem that he has composed about Newt.

    In the poem, Jerry tells the audience of the years he spent living with Newt during the war. It was there that Jerry first started writing rhymes, for which Newt would pay him a ha’penny each (on condition that they scan).

    He praises Newt as a teacher, storyteller and friend, before concluding with the lines:

    Well, since you ask me for a toast…
    O Nightingale! O Uncle Newt!

  4. 1990 – Long Buckby

    At Vanessa’s funeral, Jerry is surprised to find that Uncle Newt is wearing the same hat as he wore to Myra’s wedding. Newt remarks that it is an awfully resilient thing.

    Jerry’s daughter has just spoken to him to ensure that he will not do a poem at the funeral. When Uncle Newt hears this, he suggests that Jerry should do one for Newt’s own funeral, when the day comes.

    Uncle Newt says that he would pay Jerry his fee for the poem in advance, except that ha’pennies are no longer produced. He reacts with mock outrage when Jerry suggests that he pay him a whole penny instead.