I believe I do have a timeline of events that you might find illuminating.
During his National Service with the British Army, Jerry visits a shop near to where he is posted in Germany. He meets Hilla, who is working in the shop.
Jerry’s original reason for visiting the shop was to purchase a rubber stamp that could replicate a mark that he shows on his hand. This mark is to prove that he has completed a cross-country run, a task which he wishes to avoid in future.
Hilla says that her father could make the stamp, but questions why he should help a British soldier. When Jerry asks if this is because her father is still sore about losing the war, Hilla responds: “No, Solomon Goldfarb is not sorry that Germany lost the war.”
After more back-and-forth between the two, Jerry comes to the suggestion that he should save his money on the rubber stamp and instead buy tickets to the pictures for Hilla and him.
Hilla is surprised that baby Debbie wants to be fed more. Jerry suggests that it’s because she is ready for her pudding. However, Hilla is heard to ask “Well, don’t you want it?”, suggesting that Debbie ultimately doesn’t want her pudding.
The baby is making raspberry noises as Hilla deals with her. Hilla requesting that Debbie saves her “the raspberries of impatience”. This leads to Jerry composing an impromptu, fruit-themed, nonsense song on the piano.
Hilla helps him to find fruit names that correctly scan within the tune.
The Wilkinson family pull Christmas crackers around the table, starting with Vanessa and Uncle Newt. Vanessa wins and immediately takes the hat from inside and rips it up.
She also gets a small plastic cowboy from the cracker, which she gives to her grandson, Benji. Benji is warned not to snatch by his mother, Hilla, who reminds him that “Level 3” behaviour is expected.
Jerry says “onwards and upwards” and nominates Deborah to pull the next cracker.
Deborah chooses to pull her cracker with her grandfather, Walter. Vanessa indicates to Walter that his cracker is on his side plate. Deborah wins, but questions if she has to rip up her hat. She asks if that tradition comes from them being a bit Jewish.
Hilla tells her that lighting the candles is because they are a bit Jewish, but that the hat ripping comes from the Wilkinson side. It transpires that the tradition dates back at least as far as Uncle Newt’s childhood.
Uncle Newt prepares to tell the story of why the family rip the hats, but he is interrupted by a kitchen timer. Hilla bustles out of the room to fetch the pudding, enlisting help from Myra.
Because of a need to finish some eggs they had, Jerry suggests that they have pancakes. Hilla is reading a book and absent-mindedly agrees.
Before she realises what she has done, Jerry retrieves and blows a kazoo to initiate a family ritual. Hilla tries to change her meal choice to omelette, but the children are already rushing into the room and it is too late.
Jerry and the children play out a rehearsed chant in which he acts as The Keeper of the Cakes of Pan. Myra is The Flour Sifter, Benji is The Egg Man and Deborah is The Tosh Chronicler.
Hilla, still reading her book, doesn’t join in the chanting in her role as The Flipster. Benji begins to protest, but Jerry (still in character) defends The Flipster’s right to silence.
Although she doesn’t join the chanting this time, Hilla does not want her lines removed from the ritual. She likes it sometimes.
The Wilkinson family – Jerry, Hilla, Myra, Deborah and Benji – are meeting Jerry’s parents for dinner.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, Jerry realises that it is a posher venue than they were expecting. He reluctantly enforces “Gale Force 5 table manners” on the children.
As compensation, Jerry promises that they will keep the meal to a short two courses and declares open season on the pudding menu. Since Deborah doesn’t like pudding, she is offered the option to have a starter for pudding instead.
Jerry counts them all down to the start of the enforcement of manners. During the five second countdown, the family make wild and rude noises. They stop immediately when he reaches zero and all commence best behaviour.
Deborah tells her parents, Jerry and Hilla, that she got engaged during a trip away. Her father is delighted at the news, but her mother is more sceptical.
Deborah explains that she met her fiancé on a ferry crossing to France. He was working onboard and looked after her during a storm.
Jerry is amused to discover that the man comes from Dover and is named Cliff.
On the evening of Jerry’s 50th birthday, he and his wife, Hilla, reflect on the events of the day.
Although he enjoyed the day, Jerry feels a tinge of melancholy. His feelings were unintentionally hurt by a ‘What would Dad say?’ round in a quiz that Deborah had composed. He worries that the high scores in the round indicate that he has become a “predictable old fart”.
Hilla comforts him by saying that, although they may know what he might say, they could never predict what he will do next. She cites, as an example, him training crows to fetch batteries.
Feeling better, Jerry bids her goodnight. As he does so, she intones “don’t let the bed bugs bite” along with him, but he protests that that doesn’t count.
Myra, Deborah, Benji and Russ are helping Jerry to sort out his things and clear space.
Jerry becomes unexpectedly upset when he realises that they have deflated his lilo. In his shock, he shouts: “What have you done? Oh, you cockers!”
He quickly regains his composure and apologises to them all. He explains that he was keeping the lilo blown up because his wife, Hilla, had been the one who inflated it before she died.
He consoles himself and the others with hugs and his refrain of “half a glass”.
He apologises again for swearing at them. However, they are able to reassure him that his lingering aphasia has actually saved him from doing so. They comfort him by joking that “cockers” was at worst akin to “spaniels”, and agreeing that they had indeed behaved like “complete spaniels”.